I’m a daydreamer…I drift off into my own little world at times. I’m also a weird dreamer. The odd thoughts / sequences that go through my mind as I sleep are often quite detailed, and vary somewhat. Maybe I should write them down and give it a shot? This is one of many…
I sit here in a darkened room consumed with fear in the aftermath. Exiled from my bed, a shaking, shivering wreck. I know that you hate me – I’ve known it for quite some time. If you didn’t feel tied to me you’d have been gone years ago.
I’m an endless source of disappointment from the daily mundane tasks that I screw up to the bug fuck ups. I always try to fix things myself as to not burden you with anymore of my short comings but this inevitably makes things worse.
I see the rage building inside you, and I know that I’m deserving of your anger, I don’t want it to be like this and I keep trying to change.
I feel so alone right now, those familiar dark feelings are sweeping over me. I am the source of all that’s bad. I’m thinking about it again, would it be the best thing to do? My fear of death is thus far greater than the urge.
So here I am alone having pushed someone else away, feeling unworthy. I wish I could just sleep everything away. I’m exhausted.
So what do you think? Can we all become writers? do we all have one novel in us? i’d love to hear your thoughts!